A healthy relationship is characterized by the constant mutual support of both people. Using the metaphor of keeping a ping pong ball in motion as a goal--rather than old style thinking of slamming it to "win" -- We change the rules of relating. When it happens simultaneously and is mutually encouraged and of course, actualized by both--this is what I call a sacred effort. So that it is always nurturing. And winning. Even in ways we cannot see. It is win-win and is a new world.
This is the unconditional love in a self renewing grown-up relationship. It is always exciting, and comforting, and it is creative. Even as each is finding their own balance anew and constantly. When linked by mutual concern and clear intent for support “by both for both”, something new is created.
It is connection as winning. There is then, an ever evolving and growing connection. We move from controlling in the relationship -- to loving the flow. You are always on each other's side! No need to ever battle --(discus a lot, yes) or to perhaps slow down (patience) slow down. But because corrections are constantly happening at the source of experience and are communicated innocently. so are mutually profound revelations. This is an evolutionary leap in relationships.